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Re: I Just Read ERAGON and ELDEST!
I've never read them, but the fact someone told me part of the dialogue went like this -- "Sorry," [character] apologised, has put me off forever. Don't forget: "The young ...
Jul 18, 2007 -
Re: Kismet.... *Flagged for deletion*
La! Why have these things been dragged up? >.< I feel perpetually nervous about this story...I don't know. I was thinking about PMing a mod to delete the threads, I ...
Jul 15, 2007 -
Re: Chicken Fried Rice #5
Update! Sorry I haven't critted yet, I'm turning into a 'tiquing slug and...blah blah blah. Oh, God. His father gave him what ?! And he just reacted with "What?" For ...
Jul 14, 2007 -
Re: The protecter of the eggs
Oooh. Very interesting there more to come? I'd enjoy reading about his rounds. :) The biggest problem here is not enough description....description is needed to paint the scene and story. ...
Jun 22, 2007 -
Re: Chapter 5 Part 2
One word: here. Check back with me once you've completed this and given it some thought, won't you? :)
Jun 18, 2007 -
Re: Uknown Story Chap. 3 part 2
You'd better update before Nick gets back from vacation, or lettuce heads WILL roll! XD You know the system :) He could hear the waves crashing gently against the rock ...
Jun 14, 2007 -
Re: Cinnamon and Pine Needles
I have arrived. :trumpet fanfare: :P This'll be short, because I have to get off in like ten minutes. (BTW, I'm the person who reads the crits before the story ...
Jun 12, 2007 -
Re: The Intergalactic War Series: Rise of the Rebellion
OK, this shows promise, if you polish it up a bit more. A lot of the things are really cliche, like the name "Kwest". It's not a very subtle pun. ...
Jun 11, 2007 -
Re: Moon Magic.. Chapter Two:Visitor..
McMourning's caught the majority of spelling-blah, so now for something completely different. :D 1. While it's understandable that you would put dreams in italics, people only use italics when it's ...
Jun 11, 2007 -
Re: Chara
:coughLEOJEANcough: :points up at that significantly, eyebrows raised: This was good, and I couldn't find many errors. ^^ "What's so funny?" I'd asked , sitting next to you. Just stuff ...
Jun 11, 2007 -
Re: Glowing Straws
Wow....what an interesting thought ^_^ It's much too short for me to give a proper 'tique, so forgive me for being brief. The idea is interesting, as is the straw-thing, ...
Jun 10, 2007 -
Re: first half of a chapter of a book im starting
O.K., your most obvious flaw here is that you're not using the law of natural punctuation. ^^ The rule of natural punctuation is this: when you're talking to a friend, ...
Jun 10, 2007 -
Re: Sea-Calls
....erm, this sounds stupid, but what is the point of this poem? **Oh, BTW, Welcome to the YWS!** I fall motionless on summer sands, Packed away in the blue bag ...
Jun 10, 2007 -
Re: The Shadow
Oh, wow. Goosebumps, drowns! I like your style, it's kind of like a snake in the sense that it swings words gently back and forth, back and forth until BAM!- ...
Jun 10, 2007 -
Re: MoonMagic..Chap.1
I has arrived :P :trumpet fanfare: OK, you told me your mom proofread this....did she miss all the capitalization errors? 'Cuz they're kinda blatant, but whatever. Strikeouts are what you ...
Jun 10, 2007
